Dr. Jerry Cook, author of Grow Your Marriage by Leaps and Boundaries, wasreferencedby the Wall Street Journal. In the article called, “Delicate Art of Pushing Back,” Dr. Cook was asked how to maintain healthy relationships. Dr. Cook’s Response is down below.
Start with the positive, says Jerry Cook, associate professor at California State University, Sacramento, and author of the book “Grow Your Marriage by Leaps and Boundaries.” He suggests saying, “Our relationship means the world to me. But what you said bothers me, and I want to make sure that doesn’t happen again because I value our relationship.”
If you are the one told to back off and respect boundaries, ask yourself a question and answer honestly: Were you acting out of concern, or were you trying to fulfill some unmet need of your own? Dr. Cook says you will need to tell yourself, “This relationship is important to me, so it’s OK if my feelings are hurt when we talk about this. I want to get this right.”
Generational expectations often differ because ideas about boundaries change over time. Behavior that is appropriate between parents and small children will change as the children grow.
We sometimes invite others to step into our business by disclosing too much information, or expecting too much sympathy or advice. It’s best not to share marital woes too openly unless you want lots of meddling””or some serious backlash against your life partner. And have you ever told an adult sibling how much you make for a living? Enough said.
You can find more treasures like this by ordering a copy of Grow Your Marriage by Leaps and Boundaries today.